Parshat Chayei Sarah:Building a Pure Marriage
The test of a rectified human society is not measured merely by its technology or economy, but by the stability and sanctity of the family units that comprise it. In this week's Torah portion (Parshat Chayei Sarah), we are exposed to the first match-making in the Torah—the mission of Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, to find a wife for Isaac (Genesis 24:1–9). Abraham adjures Eliezer: "That you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose midst I dwell" (Genesis 24:3). Why was Abraham so concerned?
Abraham, who was already old and blessed by G-d with everything (Genesis 24:1), understands that marriage is not merely a legal contract or a social agreement, but a deep spiritual union. Therefore he put all his efforts and money into ensuring a good marriage for his son..
The daughters of Canaan were steeped in a culture of idolatry. Abraham understood that this could seep into the family unit and destroy future generations. He was unwilling for his son Isaac to marry a practitioner of idolatry. The Divine family structure is one in which the Creator fashioned male and female so that they would join together in a pure covenant of marriage.
A traditional family structure of a man and a woman enables the continuity of humanity and the multiplication of life. Abraham teaches us a tremendous educational principle: when building a home, we should not compromise on observing the Seven Noahide Commandments. The commandments given to man by the Creator—whose greatness and goodness are infinite, and whose greatness is beyond searching out—are for man’s own personal benefit.
Every marriage that is built according to Divine morality connects and empowers the positive forces of Creation. When a Noahide chooses to build his home on foundations of faithfulness, he is not merely attending to his personal happiness—he is fulfilling his ultimate destiny on Earth. From this Torah portion, we learn how to build homes full of light, loving-kindness, blessing, and holiness, preparing the entire world for the True and Complete Redemption!
Sources and References
Creation of Male and Female and the Marriage Covenant: Genesis 1:27; Genesis 2:24 ("Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh").
The decree of Shem’s court that one should not marry an idolater still stands:The Divine code, English version pages 396-398.
Prohibition of Forbidden Relationships and Altering the Family Unit for Noahides: Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Sanhedrin 58a; Maimonides (Rambam), Mishneh Torah, Laws of Kings and Wars (Hilchot Melachim u'Milchamot), Ch. 9, Laws 5–8ץ
Moral Corruption of the Canaanites and Forbidden Relationships: Leviticus 18:3, 18:24–25 ("Like the practice of the land of Canaan... you shall not do"); Vayikra Rabbah 23:7.
The Imperative Not to Compromise Spiritual Standards when Building a Home: Likutei Sichot, Vol. 5, Discourse for Parshat Chayei Sarah, pp. 105–110. The Divine code English version page 397.
The Canaanites were steeped in sexual immorality and idolatry to an extreme degree, and Abraham did not wish to intermingle with such a family: Ramban 24:3
Rabbi Moshe Bernstein is the author of the books:
Light Onto the Nation: A Guide to the Seven Noahide Laws
Light Onto the Torah Portions: Insights on the Torah Portions for Noahides 2 volumes.
Stories of Faith for Noahides: Inspiring Stories for Noahides from the Righteous of all Generations.
Questions and Answers for Noahides: Q&A about the Seven Noahide Laws
This is the Torah portion of my Hebrew calendar birthday, which is Cheshvan 25! 😊🎈🎂 I pray that I will find my G-d ordained spiritual life mate!!